My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize