doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
