I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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