I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
