Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
