So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
