guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize
