Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
