Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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