Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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