Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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