No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
