My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize