He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
