You're completely useless in the revolution.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
