His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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