hell yes lets make some ravioli
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
