Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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