yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
