I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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