I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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