So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
