i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
