Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
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It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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