Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
