I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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