Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
