What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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