I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
