Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
