Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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