I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
