I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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