she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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