She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
