I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
