there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
