Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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