running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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