Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
