ADVERTISEMENT

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.

  Fav 63 5476 1570

  share tweet
  

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....

  Fav 39 929 6719

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (323): View more from California

  Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.

  Fav 6 3864 1117

  share tweet
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.

  Fav 15 3798 1953

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool

  Fav 5 1235 2768

  share tweet
  

• (562): View more from California

  Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser

  Fav 3 2560 1189

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (210): View more from Texas

  Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat

  (830): View more from Texas

  You are so not ready for motherhood

  Fav 3 1244 2068

  share tweet
  

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist

  Fav 2 1776 921

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air

  Fav 4 1209 1253

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (931): View more from Tennessee

  He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you

  Fav 6 2238 751

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.

  Fav 8 517 1027

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (720): View more from Colorado

  I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.

  Fav 8 835 623

  share tweet
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  That's a really terrible idea.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input

  Fav 1 690 374

  share tweet
  

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later

  Fav 0 135 69

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.

  Fav 1 15 48

  share tweet
  

Randomize