it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
