An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
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Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag