An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
