He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
