I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
