considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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