Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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