school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
