So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Randomize
