The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
