I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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