WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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