I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize