Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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