one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize