I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
