We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
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I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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