So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
