Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
