you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
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obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
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God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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