man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
