So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
