Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
