Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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