Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
