lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
