i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
